Here are pictures of me and the living room when I finished taking out the wall and fireplace yesterday. Scary, huh? No wonder my neighbors were looking at me strange when I was taking stuff out to the truck! Time to start putting things back together!
Went to see the Goo Goo Dolls and Counting Crows last night in Charlotte with Davison, Will, Jerri, Meredith, and Blackwell. What looked like it was gonna be a wet evening at the Verizon Ampitheater turned out to be a perfect night for an outdoor concert. The Goo Goo Dolls were ok, but Counting Crows definitely stole the show. Adam Duritz has great stage presence and his vocals are amazing. Man, the 90s had some great music!
Been taking in some of Rob Bell’s teaching recently. In case you aren’t familiar with him, he’s the pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church. We have been watching some of his Nooma videos in my small group, and I just finished his book Velvet Elvis. All good stuff. You need to check it out.
Anyway- in the book and the video “Dust”, he presents an interesting perspective on when Jesus and Peter walked on water. He suggests that when Peter began sinking, he hadn’t lost his faith in Jesus, he had lost it in himself. I have never heard anyone else teach it that way, but it actually makes sense. After all, Peter could still see Jesus standing on the water, and calls out to him when he starts sinking. His faith in Jesus was fine. Then why did he sink? He lost faith in himself and what he was doing. (Which was basically just imitating Jesus)
You know, I often hear people talk about seeing ourselves as God sees us. Most of the time I think its in relation to our self esteem or maybe our sin. However, what if we could even glimpse for one second the potential that God sees in all of us? It would be absolutely life-changing. Think about it- When he left earth, he left the greatest message of all time in the hands of 12 young, uneducated guys. He knew that Peter could walk on water and that he would become the cornerstone of the early church. So what, those guys were different than you and me. Right?
Wrong. In John 14, when the disciples were having a panic attack about Jesus leaving, he tells them this. “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these.” How is that possible, to do what Jesus did and even greater? What does that even mean?
Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know this. If we only could see ourselves as God sees us… we would never be or live the same again.
Vertigo- A reeling sensation; feeling about to fall. The sensation of dizziness. A confused, disoriented state of mind.
Ever experience that feeling? Like one minute things make sense, and then all of a sudden they dont again. This week has been one of those times for me. Lots of pretty big decisions going on, and Im doing my best to pray through and discern God’s will, but the problem is that things that made sense the day before dont seem to make sense today. As I was writing in my journal the word “vertigo” came to mind and I decided to look up the lyrics from the U2 song. Here are some excerpts from it:
Lights go down, it’s dark
The jungle is your head
Can’t rule your heart
I’m feeling so much stronger than
I thought
Your eyes are wide
And though your soul
It can’t be bought
Your mind can wander
Hello, Hello
I’m at a place called Vertigo
Lights go down and all I know
Is that you give me something I can feel.
I can feel you are teaching me how
Your love is teaching me how, how to kneel, kneel
May I learn to truly trust in God’s love and learn to seek his wisdom instead of always trying to figure things out on my own…..
(thanks to Joshua for this idea)
Yes, its true. Today I finally got a dawg. For those of you who know me well enough to know that I have no desire to own a eating, pooping, slobbery, furry animal, that was spelled DAWG for a reason. It stands for a Day Alone With God. One of the cool things about Midtown not having a weekly worship service is that I can use the off Sundays however I want; being out of town for the weekend, visiting another church, or just being by myself. Today I did the latter, spending most of the day around the house reading, talking to God, and listening.
Although I always go into these kind of days hoping that God will reveal something new and cool to me, today he did not. Instead, he simply refreshed me and reminded me of my need for him. Funny how that happens – spending time with God makes me realize how much more I need him. Since I am not a very structured person, it is very easy for me to go a few days and not really make the effort to engage with God. And in the process I start to thinking (not consciously of course) that I am doing fine on my own, that I am getting pretty good at this life thing. And then something happens to remind me that I am not. I wake up one day and realize that I am being lazy. I am irritable and hurt someone I care about. I start ordering the things in my life in such a way solely to make me happy.
Those are the reasons I need God. Not only to get me into heaven in case a tree branch falls on my head. He loves us so much more than that. He wants us to become the people that he created us to be. Joyful. Dynamic. Loving. Secure. I hope that I can begin to learn how to allow God to be an integral part of my life every day. Not in some routine religious way, but in a real, powerfully dynamic way. So that I will experience the amazing life he wants for me, and so that others will experience him through it.
I finally started remodeling my house today. There is definitely no turning back now, as you can see from the pic. Once the wall is out the larger room will be my new living room. Then I will be turning the old living room into a master bedroom and bath. What have I gotten myself into?
I know its Thursday already, but before the week gets gone I had to write a quick bit about this past weekend. A group of about 30 people from our church went down to Lake Marion for a “retreat” just to get away from Columbia and spend some time seeking God together. We didnt talk very much about church “business”, just spent a lot of time with each other having fun, talking about life, and praying together. I can honestly say it was one of the most encouraging times I have experienced recently.
The most memorable part of the weekend for me was Friday evening. After dinner we all gathered together in the living room of the house we had rented and simply began telling stories about all the things that we have seen God do in and around the church in the past year; providing for the birth of a new church, bringing people together, but most of all drawing people to himself. It was amazing. The stories went on and on. Real lives impacted by the love of Jesus.
In the middle of all the routines, stresses, and pressures of life, it is easy for me sometimes to feel like God is not answering my prayers or that he is not at work in my life. However, if I just take my attention off of the present for a few minutes and look back at the path my life has taken, his presence is so obvious in all of it. Directing my steps, molding me (sometimes painfully) to be the person he created me to be, using me to love others around me. This weekend was a perfect example of that; seeing God more clearly by simply looking backward. I hope that in the future I will remember to do that in my own life and share in those experiences with others as well.
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Lee Cunningham
Columbia, SC
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