For The Record
March 10, 2008As a “single” person, I get really annoyed by married people sometimes. Especially when they patronize or pity me because I am single, like it is an incurable disease that I have or something. So let me set the record straight:
1. God’s path for each of us is different. (I felt the need to state the obvious because people tend to forget it when it comes to this subject)
2. Married is not better than single. Both have their pluses and minuses. (just ask Paul)
3. Single people do not need your pity. They need your friendship.
4. Single people are not necessarily scared of commitment. In fact, people who get married are apparently not big on it either if you look at the statistics.
5. Marriage is not by definition supposed to come right after college. (unless you live in the south, apparently)
I probably could come up with a few more on this subject, but that’s all for now…..
———–
Added by others:
6. Just because you are single does not mean you are “too picky” or looking for a “perfect” person, just that you are willing to wait for the right person.
AMEN
Well said friend.
Well said.
(Especially the “Marriage is not by definition supposed to come right after college.”)
I couldn’t agree more. I’m a lot happier single than many of my married friends, yet there’s always that look of pity they give me or even worse the unsolicited “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone” pep talk. Soooo annoying!
High five…high five!! AMEN!! AMEN!! I love #3!!! Thank you!! You made me smile and lol!!
Okay….before we get on the ‘which is happier, married or single-bandwagon’….let’s just stick with that God writes our life and love stories…
Cunningham-I totally agree that no one should force you or pity you because you choose to remain single. The same would apply in a lot of contexts…like:
…oh you’re married, why don’t you have kids?
…you work at Starbucks still,why don’t you have a real job?
…you still drive that car?
…you have tattoos, well that’s not professional..
The main point to drive home to folks is not that one choice is better than the other…We are going to find married people that are unhappy and we are going to find single people that are unhappy too…the truth is that God is sovereign and is the author of our lives. Let’s not point fingers as to whose story ours should be most like…because it just doesn’t work that way.
p.s. Cunningham, let me know who’s giving you grief and I will drop kick them for you
.
Candice…I love what you said….that’s a really great point..people ask me why I’m a sorority house director..living in this house and I’m 33…so I can relate to that. God does have a plan for each of us…it’s unique to who we are and His plan for our life…it’s just more encouraging when others acknowledge that aspect instead of focusing on what they think we lack..or should have. I love this post Lee!!! =)
I think your posting clock is wrong…I posted that at 11:05 p.m Texas time just for the record..Lee can you look into that??
can I get it an amen amen! What what! It’s very true and neither is better than the other and Paul outlines very well this point.
If you can’t keep your thingy in your pants, you need to get married, if you can handle yourself and not burn, it’s okay for you to be single. Did I just write that, please forgive me.
On another note, I’m single, but I do want to be married someday, but have definitely seen that the last few years have done me very well and I’ve learned some things in my singleness that will only help my hopefully, future marriage.
Lee you’re awesome, and I’m with Whit, if someone is talkin smack, we singles can join a facebook group and take over the world
Miss ya mean it
Rich Mullins:
“Everybody always goes “oh, you’re single, what a tragedy…” Well, yeah from 10 to 2 every evening it is a tragedy. But that time is a tragedy for most married people as well.”
Amen to number #6…must comment! I know I could be married right now….but I praise God that I didn’t continue down that road…it was absolutley not right for me…I can see it so clearly now. Someone at the time questioned if I was “scared of commitment”…which made me feel bad…like I had an “issue”. I have noticed some labeling with this “he/she can’t commit…I think for the most part it is a bunch of crock…. I have heard girls use that one on guys…I even had an ex tell me that he thought he had an issues with commitment….I honestly don’t think it was true for him…I think he started relationships and then realized something just wasn’t right…and how he handled that part was probably wrong..as in staying in too long and saying all the wrong things. If you never date or court..whatever term you want to use here..how can you even get to know someone…so you do have to step out there. Still…deep down..God has given us His spirit..that “gut feeling” that lets us know the truth..I think many times we don’t listen because we want what we want for various reasons. So…I feel bad for guys/gals that get a bad rap or complex..due to it just not being right. I am not saying there couldn’t be a few cases where that is true for anyone. I think if we evaluated our dating and why we do what we do…we may find that often times are motives need checking. Feel free to disagree..ok..I’m done for now!! =)
I am loving this post Lee!!! I kind of like it when people start to pity me for not being married. The reality is I could be married right now. I think a lot of us single people could be married right now, but that doesn’t mean it would have been the right choice. The reason I am still unmarried is because the people I have seen in my past were not the right people for me and they were obviously not in the plan God has laid out for me. I think it is easy for some people to lose sight of the fact the it is GOD’S PLAN.
Note to married people: There is no need to take pity on your single friends or try to set them up with people you think are the “one” for us. If you really want to help just pray that God will send us down the path that we were designed for; whether that is being married or staying single is up to him!