New York Surprise

When I was in New York a couple of weeks ago, I found out something very surprising to me. As I mentioned a few posts back, I love the place and would move there in a heartbeat if I had half a reason to. Because of that I am always interested in finding out what living in the city is really like. Whenever I visit or even talk to my friends who live there I ask them lots of questions about how life is going, what all they are into, etc. So in talking to several of my friends wile I was there, I was surprised to learn that they all seemed to struggle with meeting people that they really connect with and consequently lacked good, deep friendships.

What? Are you kidding me? New York is the most densely populated city in the country. There are cool people everywhere. How is it possible that young, socially adept people have a hard time connecting with others in a place like that?

And then it hit me. The factors that create those same issues for me here in Columbia, SC are mostly independent of population size. They are cultural rather than demographic in nature. In our culture there are no really great ways for people out of college to connect with each other. The bar scene is the most available option, but is not a good environment for building real relationships. Then there are gyms and recreational sports. These at least have the benefit of a common interest, but they are still not very good environments to meet and connect with new people. Even churches are not very successful at this. Though on paper they usually have lots of ways for people to “get connected,” many people who attend regularly seem to have a hard time doing so.

I am a networker by nature. I love to meet new people and do so fairly easily. But after living in Columbia for 2 1/2 years now, I still only hang out with the people that I knew before I moved here. I have met a handful of people here and there, but for some reason none of those relationships have really grown. I can’t even imagine how difficult it is for people who are less social or shy. So I keep on… knowing that there are others like me out there…. wishing I could connect with some of them… but not really knowing how. And it is the same no matter where you live.