Resolutions

Here in the middle of the Christmas season, the realization hit me the other day that the new year is almost here. And with it comes the yearly ritual making of new year’s resolutions. Now I know that some people out there really use new year’s resolutions to make some changes in their lives, but I think that most people are either jaded, cynical, or just apathetic about them.

The thing about resolutions though, whether we verbalize them at the new year or ever, is that we all have them. We all know what things we would like to change in our lives. We want to get in shape, find a better job, be a better husband/wife/parent, learn a new skill, quit a habit, or grow closer to God. But more often than not, we just don’t follow through. The goal may be a difficult one or we may just get distracted by the daily routine of our lives. So another day, month, or year goes by and we end up no closer to becoming the person we really want to be. Another problem is, we almost always tackle these things on our own. We don’t share our desires or resolutions with anyone. So when the going gets tough, no one knows but us. And when we slip a little, no one is looking or is there to help us up.

For me, the secret to making changes and accomplishing things has been twofold. First, I have to put in place some structure or system to help me take small tangible steps towards the goal. For example, if I want to “get in shape,” I can’t rely on my willpower to exercise regularly. I have to actually schedule time each week to do it. Second, I have to let other people in the loop. I have to share my desires and goals with them and actually ask them to check up on me every once in a while.

Right now I am still thinking through some things that I might want to accomplish next year. One of them in particular I will share with you in a couple of days. Maybe you will want to think through yours and we can help each other out on them.

Prayer

Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to things unseen.
Show me how to love like you have loved me.

Break my heart for what breaks yours.
Everything I am for your kingdom’s cause.
As I walk from earth to eternity.

- Hosanna, Hillsong

What Should I Do With My Life?

I just finished reading a very cool book this week. I randomly picked it up off the sale rack in a bookstore in Victoria a few weeks ago for the 2 1/2 hour ferry ride back to Seattle, and loved it. The title makes it sound like a cheesy self-help book, but its not. The author was intrigued by the question of how people find and settle into their “callings” and began asking people about just that. After interviewing over 900 people, (crazy, huh?) he of course was able to notice some trends. This book is a collection of over 50 people’s stories, grouped into several categories. 

As a person who has struggled with this question seemingly more than most people do, the book really resonated with me. Not that it provided any earth-shattering insight or answers, but just seeing the wide variety of paths that people’s lives take and how long some of them take to develop was encouraging to me. There were people who fell into their callings almost accidentally, some who took huge leaps of faith (or risks) to get there, and others who bounced around for long periods of time before settling into a groove. 

Through it all, one thing is clear to me. Our career paths are as unique as we are. As much as we think we would like for them to fit into neat little checkboxes, categories, and timelines, they don’t. As cliche as it sounds, it really is much more about the journey than the destination. And for me, I think I would be much happier if I could learn to enjoy the scenery along the way instead of always being preoccupied by where the path is headed.

Back To School?

For those of you who know me well, you know that I am allergic to school. Don’t get me wrong… I love learning and I loved college. Just not “school” in the traditional sense of the word. Not enough practical knowledge or flexibility for me. Which is why this is right up my alley. 

Seth Godin, innovative thinker and author of several books, is opening his office up to a handful of people for a 6-month “real world” business education. Sort of an school-internship-mentoring-hybrid-sorta-thing. So I am applying. Anybody want to join me?

Victoria

Today Bailey and I took a ferry to Victoria, British Columbia. It was foggy the whole way, so we couldn’t see any of the cool mountains and islands on the way up from Seattle. Victoria is a cool-looking town with the British influence fairly obvious and Bailey and I had a pretty good time walking around, but overall it didn’t do all that much for me. I mean let’s be honest; museums, gardens, and shopping just aren’t my things. But all that changed when we got to do this…

Ok, just kidding. I really was wanting to splurge for the floatplane flight – it has always been a dream of mine – but the fog killed that possibility as well. Maybe next time…

Tomorrow we are headed home… can’t wait to be back with all my friends and sleep in my own bed!

Seattle

Today Bailey and I spent the whole day in Seattle, which was great! Here are the highlights:

• Pike Place Market – cool place, lots of character
• the original Starbucks (nothing exciting, just a different logo)
• the Space Needle – WOW, what a view!
• REI Flagship Store – thankfully, we both resisted the urge to spend lots of money here
• amazing seafood dinner at the waterfront – fresh halibut!

Tomorrow – Victoria, British Columbia!

Olympic

After 2 days in Post Falls, ID for a discipleship conference at this church, Bailey and I drove to Seattle last night for a few days of exploring. Today we drove out to Olympic National Park, which is an awesome mix of mountains, forests, and beaches. We only had time to hit the high spots and logged a ton of miles in the car, but it was well worth it. The first pic is the amazing view from the top of Hurricane Ridge Road. The highlight of the day however, was definitely Rialto Beach, (2nd pic) with its black sand, amazing rock formations, evergreens, and tons of drift logs. Very north pacific.

Tomorrow – Mars Hill church and downtown Seattle.

Real Faith

Hello again, blog! It has been so long since I posted I had a hard time remembering my password. (yikes!) I have thought about posting many times over the past couple of months, but haven’t because I have felt like all my thoughts and emotions were stuck on repeat. Anything I might have written or talked about would just have been a recycled version of things I have written before.

Having said that, God has recently been revealing some things to me. Sometimes by his silence as much as by his speaking. His silence (previous post) and my reaction to it has brought out how self-centered my relationship with him is. As long as I am feeling ok about my life and what I can see him doing, my “faith” is fine. But when things begin to get tough or not make sense I fall apart. I have come to realize that what I call “faith” is not really faith at all. It is just a series of ideas about God and the world and how they operate. Faith might be a component of that series of ideas, but until those ideas are challenged that faith is only theoretical.

Real faith comes into play when God is not visible, when our series of ideas don’t make sense or can’t explain what is going on in life. Real faith is the person who still believes in his goodness even when terribly bad things happen to them; they lose their job, lose a loved one, or are abused by another person. Real faith is the pastor who keeps leading the church that God has called him to when it doesn’t grow and people never seem to “get it,” when lots of other pastors’ churches are vibrant and growing. Real faith is sometimes making decisions based on what God is saying that don’t make financial or logical sense. (Abraham actually raising his arm to kill his ONLY son, when God has promised him a long line of descendants through that son)

For me, faith has been trusting that God has a plan for me. And that it is for good. (Jeremiah 29) Even when it seems like my life is sometimes just a series of disconnected random events. Multiple career paths that all seem to fizzle out in dead ends. Seemingly “wise” decisions that end up disastrous. Passions and desires that I believe are from him that never seem to be fulfilled. 

The sad part about all of this is that I have realized how weak my faith really is. Instead of trusting him and living in the confidence and security of that, I have become self-centered and whiny, grasping at straws trying to fix and control the course of my life. How futile is that? What ability to I have to control anything? Instead of trusting and bringing glory to him I have made it all about me. God, please forgive me for thinking that this life is all about me. Help my weak faith to grow strong.

Silence

Ever feel like God is working in people’s lives all around you, but not in your own? That is how I have felt for most of the past 3 years since I moved to Columbia. I am continually (even today) amazed by all of the lives that I have seen changed by God in and around our church. I sincerely consider it a tremendous privilege to witness and be a part of it all. But there is down side. The more God moves in the lives of those around me the more aware I am that he does not seem to be in my life.

How many times have you heard or read the verse that talks about God’s thoughts and actions being higher than ours? If you are like me, you know the truth of those words but they are often just salt in the wound. They make us feel like God is a judge sentencing us to community service or jail time for our “own good,” which we know hardly ever does any real good.

But thats not how it really is. God is so much more like the loving dad who disappears after dinner every night for weeks, seemingly neglecting his children, all the while building that dollhouse in the garage for his daughter or treehouse in the back yard for his son. In fact the more I look in the Bible, the times when it doesn’t seem like God is working are often the ones that he is up to something big. How did Abraham and Sarah feel when waiting for years to have children? How about the Israelites in slavery in Egypt? What were Jesus’ followers thinking while they watched the man they had put their faith in die? God sure seemed to be absent. But in fact he was the complete opposite of absent. He was putting things together on a whole different level. More than the people (or we) could ask or imagine.

So after 3 years of struggling, I am still waiting and listening. For anything. And desperately trying to trust that he really is up to something. And sometimes I even allow myself to be excited that it might be something big.

This is Not a Game

This week I heard some news about a fairly new church in South Carolina that knocked the wind out of me. The details are not important, but suffice to say that there are some differences of opinion among the leaders of the church that appear to be unresolvable. First of all, I am sad whenever people who claim to be following Jesus cannot resolve their differences. I do not think that is what Paul means when he uses the words “one body” to describe the unity that we should have. Second, I am sad about all of the people within the church that will get caught in the crossfire. People will have to “choose sides” on the issues, which leads to all sorts of confusion, gossip, and bitterness, and can literally wreck lives.

But the thing that weighs the heaviest on me about this situation has nothing to do with this other church. It is the seriousness of my own role in helping pastor a church. Contrary to many of the attitudes in the “church planting” world, this is NOT a game. This is not a contest to see who can come up with the “coolest” church and get the most people to show up. People’s eternal lives are at stake. And as I have written before, that scares me to death.

As much fun as we like to have at Midtown, I hope that we will never be flippant with or cheapen the name of Jesus. I pray that God will continue to use us simply to point people in Columbia towards him. That He will give us unity and protect us from the many pitfalls that could destroy our church and damage people’s lives. And that I and the other leaders of our church will be the kind of men that are worthy of leading others in this mission.